Okay, now I’m really going to bed.
Cookie…I want you to get some sleep and check your inbox in a few minutes.
Good Morning…Hope y’alls Humpday is a good one! Oh, one more thing…
Y’all be easy.
#I’M #TRYING SO HARD…
This inbox, Pumpkin.
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.
A pizza guy brought me weed one time so i tipped him with a bong rip
It attracts some ankh niggas, but it’s foolproof repellent for basic niggas.
you know what else is fuck nigga repellant?
having SHORT natural hair.
I’m talking, BIG CHOP natural hair.
they don’t like it when they can see the shape of your head. lol
LMFAOOOOOOOOOO I CANT
I need to get my life together & shave my head.
I used to have super short hair and my ex hated it because “I looked like a boy”. These G cup titties beg to differ, but he was a fuck boy anyway.
Agreed. A fade a day will keep the basics at bay
IT’S A HUMMINGBEE
These are BEE FLIES!
Harmless to everything else, these precious little cutie pies sneak their eggs into beehives, where their larvae can parasitize bee larvae and eat their food reserves!
Simultaneously adorable and insidious!
I support legalization of display of public nudity as I believe seeing nude bodies promotes healthy attitude towards the human body and sex in general, as well as creates a realistic view to youth on what real bodies look like versus what they see in movies and porn.